Healing...

I am on the path to healing.  Dolce's death has done that for me.  I am realizing that his death has silenced me, given me the opportunity to block out the outside world and become increasingly introspective. I am learning so much about myself, about life in general, and about healing old wounds.  As grateful as I am to be moving into a more positive and peaceful place, I still hate that I've come to this place due to losing Dolce.  That part still hurts, and most likely always will.  I feel like anger over past hurts is melting away and I am evolving into the being I was meant to be.

Thank you Dolce, you have been the ultimate teacher.  We certainly worked to heal each other didn't we.

Dolce and The Velveteen Rabbit

An excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit:

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew th

at they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

I read this excerpt and I immediately thought of Dolce.  He was neglected and forgotten until we found him.  He was old, slowly walked on his stiff little legs, had a misaligned/crooked jaw, missing toenails, and stains all over the white parts of his fur, and he was perfect.  We made him real and once he was real he was able to move on.  Animals like Dolce are such a blessing.  I believe it is souls like his that are sent to us to teach us about life, love and making better choices. 

Baking

I've been baking a lot lately.  It's been a way to distract myself and help me feel more comfortable being at home when Brett is away at work.  I think if I tallied it up, I would find that I've baked more zucchini bread this summer than if you totaled up all of the zucchini breads I've made in my life prior to this summer...it should probably be noted that I've made quite a few zucchini breads in my lifetime.

I think I may be ready to move on from the zucchini bread, but I'm looking for suggestions.  Any suggestions for a great baked good?  A baked good meant for humans?  Or perhaps a baked good for the dogs?  Please share any recipes you may have.  I'd like to try some out and then post the outcome on here.