Animal Grief

Since losing Dolce my pack has gone from 4 to 3, and the loss is very apparent to them.

Unlike the other two, Chico has been a stable figure in our pack, really keeping it together.  Of course this doesn't surprise me; after all, Chico and Dolce kind of had a dual leadership role in our house.  They were the more respected of the four, and the others recognized that you don't mess with them.  Chico has always been a caretaker, before Dolce came to live with us, and after, and he is continuing to fulfill that role.  He tends to the other dogs, cleaning their eyes (even Dolce's when he was still with us), and when he sees me crying over Dolce he almost immediately comes to my side and tries to clean away my tears.  I honestly feel like Brett and Chico are the glue keeping us together right now.

For the first week following Dolce's passing Brownie grieved pretty hard.  She slept on the couch away from me, she needed her space to mourn.  She wanted almost nothing to do with the outdoors and did not eat much.  I was worried about how she would do in the kitchen during the day without Dolce, and there was some validity to that concern.  The first time I left her for more than 30 minutes she destroyed the screen on the kitchen door by ripping it from the door and chewing holes through it.  It was painfully obvious that her first time without Dolce was cause for severe anxiety, as she had returned to attempting to breakout out of her enclosed space.  We have since begun placing Rico and Chico with her in the kitchen during the day.  They are not very happy about it, considering they are accustomed to lounging about my bed and/or the couch all day, but I am hopeful that such close proximity to Brownie will help Brownie and also create a stronger bond between the three.  Another difficulty for Brownie is when I watch a recent video I had made of Dolce.  For me, I need the video.  It is like having the ability to see him alive, just as I remember him and most importantly, whenever I want.  For Brownie, it is a heartbreaking reminder of what she has lost.  When I watch the video I see her become visibly upset.  Her ears perk up then back, a look of confusion washes across her face, and she searches the house for him.  It is so devastating to see her like this, mostly because I know just how she feels.  I too feel like if I look long enough, of course I will find him, because this just cannot be reality.  I guess the only solution is to watch the video where she cannot hear it.  It is not fair for me to continue to hurt her by playing it within her earshot.

Surprisingly to me Rico has really had a hard time with Dolce's passing.  The first week he acted normal, like he noticed no difference.  But from the beginning of this week it seems like reality has begun to sink in for him.  He has been terrified and stressed all week.  He constantly wants to be held and comforted, and if I am too busy to hold him he hides.  He hides in the cabinet holding towels in the bathroom, he hides in the backyard (never so well that I cannot find him), and he hides in the farthest back, darkest corner of the closet in my bedroom, and when I try to get him out he cries.  He is constantly panting and seems genuinely worried that he will lose Brett or I.  I suppose he thinks hiding is the only safe alternative if he cannot be with us.

I feel so bad for my dogs.  Losing Dolce has been hard for all of us, not just me, and I don't know what I can do to help them.  If you have any suggestions for what we can do for them, please let me know.